Before Twitter was shut down in Russia, the site saw frequent discussions about how people could persuade their parents not to believe Kremlin propaganda – and, most importantly, not to support the war in Ukraine.
According to a poll by the state-run VCIOM public research institute, 68% of Russians support the war, which within the country can only be officially referred to as a “special military operation.” There are almost no critical or independent press left, and especially the elderly receive most of their news on state television.
Some young Russians, whose names have been changed here, spoke to DW about their disagreements with their parents over Ukraine, which date back to President Vladimir Putin’s annexation of Crimea in 2014 and the subsequent international sanctions.
“My father has started to be critical, but my mother remains a supporter of Putin.”
Yelena, a 29-year-old computer programmer for NGOs from Moscow
This is a total war and I am definitely against it. On the first day, I was completely shocked and cried when I read the news. I am ashamed and sad and I feel responsible for the fact that the disease of our country, in the form of our president, affects not only us, but also people in another country. I have never voted for this government and I have taken part in demonstrations.
I will go to demonstrations now and I have already signed everything that was there to sign against the war. I talk to people about what they can do to have some kind of impact on the situation. My friends and I started going to a subway station in Moscow and handing out green bands as a symbol of peace. We had all kinds of answers. An older man came up to us with tears in his eyes and asked for a second band for his wife. And then there was an old woman shouting all the way that we were fascists and we had to be killed.
My parents also live in Moscow. My father is 59 years old and works for a cash transfer company. My mother is 63 and retired. He worked as a screenwriter for children’s plays. When it all started in Ukraine, we argued. My parents believed everything they saw on TV. On the morning of February 26, I called my brother, who shared my opinion. I suggested that we all sit down together and talk. We were partially successful.
We made our father realize that all this is terrible. Since then he began to think critically. Even before, he had begun to realize that not everything was as it was said on television. But these new realizations were a disaster for him. He had a seizure and could not breathe. His whole thinking about Russia and its people was completely destroyed.
After my mother retired, all she did was watch TV and that turned her into a fanatical supporter of Putin. We tried to persuade her to read other sources, but she would not listen. As soon as you suggest that her ideology may be wrong, she gets angry and aggressive, like that old woman on the street who called us fascists. When it became known that Kadyrov [head of the Chechen Republic — Editor’s note] she was sending his army of cold-blooded killers to Ukraine, she was so happy that she actually applauded. This hurts.
My mother and I are no longer in contact with each other. Maybe one day I will talk to her about it, when she will experience all the consequences and her pink glasses will start popping. But our father is by our side. He was always against me going to demonstrations, just because he was worried about me. But after all our discussions, to my surprise, he told me that if I went to demonstrations again, he would come with me.
“My mother repeats propaganda slogans, but we both find Nemtsov good”
Anton, a 24-year-old designer from the Moscow region
I grew up in Morozovsk in the Rostov region, about 200 kilometers (124 miles) from the Ukrainian city of Luhansk. I have known Ukrainians since I was a child. everything was always good between us. On the morning of February 24, when the war started, I packed my backpack so that we could mobilize, so that I could go and hide in the forest. My mother immediately asked me where I was going. He said he supported the war against Ukraine, that it should have been fully occupied in 2014, and that Putin did everything right. I was speechless.
My mother is 52 years old and believes in all sorts of weird things like runes, tarot cards and conspiracies. When he talks about politics, he is simply repeating propaganda slogans. But I did not expect him to justify killing people in a neighboring country. It is important for me to convince her that the murder can not be justified by anything.
I believe that war is unacceptable. I have served in the army and then it was clear to me that something was wrong in our country. We were not allowed to take pictures of broken equipment and the police stole petrol. When I returned from the army, I started going to protest rallies. War is a product of this system, so I try to convince my mother that what is happening in Russia is not normal.
On the second day of the war, February 25, we talked about everything without fighting and getting angry. I did things in a logical order, presented her with arguments, suggested that she read Orwell. We talked the next day, quite calmly. But I do not think I can convince her. Her thinking is confused, but I will keep trying. For example, we both agreed that we find Boris Nemtsov [Russian politician and Putin critic who was killed in 2015 in Moscow — Editor’s note] very good.
“If people justify this massacre, what else will they justify?”
Alena, a 26-year-old economist from St. Petersburg
My mother is 47 years old and works in the administration of a hospital. My father is 56 and works for the Russian Railways. They both live in Perm and in 2014 were already supporting the Russian government and parroting what was being said on television.
In the meantime, however, their views changed. It started after the import bans in 2014, when we could not buy cheese every day because we could no longer afford it and it no longer tasted good. I was in grade 11 then and I remember it very clearly.
At the same time, my father’s salary was cut at the Russian Railways because a lot of money was spent in the Crimea. I studied at the School of Economics and made it clear to my parents that we suddenly started living less well after the invasion of Crimea because we spent our money on it. Was it worth it? A very good argument has always been: “You worked very hard for me and my sister, and in the end, because the government we did not vote for took part in another country, our quality of life has deteriorated a lot. “
I admit that different generations may have different ways of seeing certain things, but not what is happening right now. I’m glad my parents share my opinion about the war. I do not know how one can think differently and be a good person.
I always think: If people justify this massacre, what else will they justify? You do not want such parents. But we children can help them, for example, by providing guidance through all this information.
This article was originally written in Russian
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